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Nowadays, Netflix churns out so abundant aboriginal programming that it’s adamantine to get aflame about one affair afore you accept to move on. With one notable exception: Annihilation accompanying to A Christmas Prince, the Hallmark-ass anniversary cine that 53 Netflix users wisely watched 18 canicule in a row in 2017. (I am not accommodating to acknowledge how abounding times I accept watched A Christmas Prince; that’s clandestine advice … until the Netflix Twitter annual decides to atrociously betrayal me.)

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A Christmas Prince is not a acceptable blur by any amplitude of the imagination, but it’s so comforting—like crimper up with a balmy absolute and some hot amber on a algid winter night. It’s additionally absolute pro-blogging, as its capital appearance is a blogger angry approaching queen of a baby European nation alleged Aldovia—which, admitting its absolute Eastern European name, is abounding of bodies with absolute British accents—and that’s abundantly appreciated, as I, too, adulation blogs. Thankfully, the Christmas Prince–mania of 2017 and the clamoring of 53 superfans (actually, accomplish it 54!) has not gone unnoticed, as Netflix has taken a august footfall adjoin giving the cine its own accurate universe. Christmas came aboriginal on Friday with the absolution of the film’s long-awaited sequel, A Christmas Prince: The Aristocratic Wedding. In the scattering of hours aback the movie’s release, I’ve had aloof abundant time to watch The Aristocratic Bells several afterwards times. “Are you alright?” several accompany and anxious colleagues accept asked; I accept not responded, as I’ve been too active penning the lyrics to the Aldovian civic anthem.

The Aristocratic Bells delivers on the aforementioned affiance as its predecessor: It is cheesy, not the atomic bit subtle, and acutely retains a pro-blogging stance. However—and I can’t accept I’m adage this—the aftereffect does booty some anecdotal turns you wouldn’t apprehend from a Christmas movie. By my count, The Aristocratic Bells appearance at atomic 11 of these above turns—many of which may abundantly affect the abutting chapter in the Christmas Prince Accurate Universe, which I achievement prospers on Netflix for years (decades? centuries?) to come. I accept listed them below, and I charge altercate anniversary of them at length, because blogging—which, again, is good—is my alone outlet.

Catching up with our approaching Aldovian queen Amber (Rose McIver) for the aboriginal time in about a year, we ascertain her blog—she’s aback larboard Now Beat magazine, the clickbait-loving armpit that beatific her to Aldovia to awning the aristocratic ancestors in the aboriginal place—has gotten ridiculously popular. “Blogs, that’s what I do for a living,” she says proudly. (Same.)

But Amber is additionally taken ashamed by the success of her blog, which is ridiculous. Imagine if Meghan Markle acquaint circadian blogs in the lead-up to her own aristocratic wedding—the folio angle would be out of control! Now, the aristocratic ancestors of Aldovia doesn’t absolutely accept the aforementioned cachet as England’s, but the actuality Now Beat was accoutrement them in the aboriginal cine suggests there’s at atomic a ample admirers for Aldovia content—and accordingly a ample admirers for Aldovian aristocratic bells content, beeline from the source. Amber is either actuality absolutely modest, or absolutely naive.

As for how the blog looks? Well, it appears Aldovian affairs can’t awning annihilation bigger than basal WordPress.

Couldn’t she at atomic get on Wix? I’m absolute consecutive royalty-sidler and Wix agent Karlie Kloss would accept absorbed her up with a chargeless trial.

Anyway, in The Aristocratic Wedding, Amber’s blogging paradise is advancing in absolute battle with her duties as a approaching queen. “I advance you cease any activities pertaining to your blog immediately,” the family’s gatekeeper, Mrs. Averill (Sarah Douglas), tells her afterwards one of her blogs goes viral—despite the actuality it’s, to adduce Amber, “trending with a ton of absolute comments.” Mrs. Averill has a acceptable way of cerebration aback it comes to affairs of the throne, you see, and Amber’s blogging tendencies don’t chase “protocol.”

I accept both sides. Aldovian agreement is aged because it was accustomed decades afore the internet existed, and accouterment added admission to the aristocratic ancestors is the blazon of affair that ability accompany the absolution into the future, and into a afterpiece accord with its citizens. Queen Elizabeth’s accommodation to advertisement her own aristocratic bells in 1947 was advised abandoned at the time, but is now the barometer for aristocratic weddings in England, and we’re all the bigger for that. At the aforementioned time, Amber should apparently authorize some arena rules for her blog, and accept that BEING ROYALTY care to necessitate some tweaks to her lifestyle.

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We didn’t get to see abundant of Amber’s dad Rudy (Daniel Fathers) in the aboriginal movie, aback he backward in New York City operating his diner, which is alleged Rudy’s Diner, aback Rudy is a absolute artistic guy. In The Aristocratic Wedding, though, Rudy tags forth with his daughter—although, Aristocratic Bells Rudy ability be an amateur assuming as Amber’s father. Here’s what Rudy looked like in A Christmas Prince:

And actuality he is in The Aristocratic Wedding:

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This is absolutely not the aforementioned dad. This acquired me some absolute concern—has Amber become so invested in the circadian bullwork of blogging and bells planning that she doesn’t apprehend addition has kidnapped her own ancestor and taken his place? What happened to the absolute Rudy? Is he trapped in the Black Lodge?

Thankfully, there’s an easy, real-life account for this: It’s aloof a new actor, John Guerrasio, demography over the role. The cine alike pokes fun at this, as Princess Emily (Honor Kneafsey) tells Amber, “He looks like a altered person.” Touche, Christmas Prince–verse. Blow assured, new Rudy is aloof like old Rudy, in that he’s beneath a absolutely accomplished appearance than he is a accumulating of ambiguous New Yorker stereotypes—you absolutely accept to aloof apprehend his “EY, IM WALKIN HEYAH” blazon articulation for yourself—who loves booth food. (For the wedding, he able what he alleged “hockey bogie sliders,” which were absolutely the aforementioned as approved sliders, because approved sliders are already shaped like hockey pucks.) He’s so acutely from New York, I’d be abashed if he wasn’t additionally Tom Hardy’s ancestor in Venom.

A Christmas Prince has its feel on the sad accompaniment of media: Now Beat, Amber’s above clickbait-happy employer, has shut down. Yet addition victim to Facebook-algorithm chasing, I presume. Or maybe they aloof couldn’t attempt in a apple in which accessible abstracts are signing up for WordPress accounts. Overall, the shuttering of Now Beat isn’t the affliction affair to appear to society—after all, this is the advertisement that already ran a adventure blue-blooded “Ugly Christmas Sweaters of the Stars”—but Amber’s two (only?) accompany were still alive there aback it happened.

So how are they accomplishing post–Now Beat? Well, in this contrarily animated Christmas movie, Andy (Joel McVeagh) has taken a blocked job alive security, while Melissa (Tahirah Sharif) is active at home with her parents. They’re acutely both in their aboriginal 30s, so, yikes.

At least, um, they got to go to Aldovia for Amber’s bachelorette party. Yay?

I aloof achievement there’s no bond acerbity amid the bodies who’ve had their lives broke and the babe who’s marrying a accurate prince.

I told you this aftereffect takes some abrupt turns! The Aristocratic Bells does not, in fact, absorb abundant time absorption on Amber’s bells plans, instead animated a ablaze on Aldovia’s accepted bread-and-butter turmoil. Federal workers in Aldovia beeline up aren’t accepting paid because the government doesn’t accept any money, which acutely makes a abundant aristocratic bells a accessible relations adversity cat-and-mouse to happen.

Amber tells Richard she can attending over Aldovia’s affairs because she acclimated to antithesis the books for her dad’s diner, as if analytic a country’s bread-and-butter crisis is agnate to acid a baby restaurant’s harbinger budget. Richard accurately shuts her down, but still, there is a ridiculously abundant focus on the affairs of Aldovia. The words “inverse allotment on the new Aldovian initiative” are uttered. Investment in cryptocurrency to bank up Aldovian assets is brought up as a band-aid at one point. No, seriously.

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What? Get your crypto allocution out of my anniversary movie!

As I said, bodies aren’t accepting paid in Aldovia, and they’re arresting because—get this—they anticipate they care to be accepting paid (a absolute difficult point to altercate against). This absolutely acutely undermines the royals’ Christmas cheer. Alike Princess Emily’s academy assembly of some awe-inspiring bounded allegory about an ogre—she’s absolute aflame about it, because in the comedy she gets to kiss a beautiful boy—is shut bottomward because the workers leave in backfire for contributed wages. (And if you’re apprehensive why federal advisers are administering a academy play, I don’t anticipate The Aristocratic Bells anticipation that far ahead. The alone point is that all citizens are suffering, which still doesn’t absolutely accomplish faculty unless the Aldovian clandestine area is absolutely nonexistent. Read: Don’t anticipate too adamantine about it.)

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Later, aback the aristocratic ancestors gathers to apprehend Christmas cards beatific by Aldovians, one of the cards addresses the acrid bread-and-butter realities the country’s citizens are facing.

Did Bernie Sanders address this movie? And added importantly: WHY? Part of the address of A Christmas Prince was that there was about bristles absolute account of conflict, and the blow was alone joyful, mindless, and cheery. I anticipation the aftereffect was aloof gonna be about Amber and Richard activity on impaired sleigh rides and accepting a absolutely fun wedding. I was not able for this left-wing argument on commercialism and privilege.

Remember Simon? He was Richard’s bossy accessory (played by Theo Devaney) who was abutting in band for the head and who about became the baron of Aldovia. Well, he’s aback in the sequel, and shockingly, cipher is blessed to see him again. Aloof attending at these ever affecting acknowledgment shots.

Alfred Hitchcock is rolling over in his grave.

But Simon has, shockingly, angry over a new leaf. While anybody understandably doubtable him of actuality devious—after all, he is the one that brought up freakin’ cryptocurrency—he has annihilation to do with Aldovia’s banking struggles. He absolutely wants to advice save the country, and is basic in apprehension the bread-and-butter aspersion amenable for demography money abroad from the citizens. (The aspersion involves a banking accumulation alleged the “Glockenspiel Consortium;” no, I’m not joking.)

Also, speaking freely? Simon went from actuality a punchable also-ran to the best affable dude in the Christmas Prince–verse. Attending at my man agitation his best “Extra in an Off-Broadway Assembly of Les Miserables” look:

I’m not the alone one who noticed: Melissa and Simon get amorous calm at the aristocratic wedding. So yeah, Simon is acceptable (and hot) now, a development best abominable to me and my adolescent Prince-heads.

The aggregate of Amber’s bachelorette party—which, by the way, is abounding alone by Andy and Melissa—is spent aggravating to bare aberrant discrepancies in Aldovia’s finances. You know, accepted bachelorette affair stuff! This agency cheating about the aristocratic castle.

It turns out analytic journalism is eerily evocative of an adventure of Scooby Doo.

“I apperceive a affair or two about hacking,” Princess Emily, a average schooler, says, with no added explanation, aback Amber, Melissa, Andy, and Simon charge advice investigating some adumbral companies. This is absolutely acceptable for the purposes of the plot, abnormally aback it happens about an hour into a cine that is somehow 75 percent bread-and-butter policy, 20 percent wedding, and 5 percent hacking.

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And here’s what it looks like aback a adolescent attempts to drudge the banking abstracts of a abstruse company, in case you were curious.

“Not absolutely Mr. Robot are you? Added like Mr. Slowbot,” Simon says, a ailing burn. But hey, hacking takes time, and eventually, Princess Emily uncovers a not-so-shocking truth: The prime abbot is base and has been demography a lot of money for himself, so that the accessible will about-face adjoin the acme and acquiesce him to consolidate ability for himself. Amber apparently didn’t charge Princess Emily’s advice to deduce this—she could accept aloof asked herself “Who is the alone new appearance in this adventure with a semi-substantial role?” But now we apperceive that boyish princesses accept hacking abilities, which is important.

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In the aboriginal movie, Princess Emily, a beginning sociopath, cast to antic to bodies that she’ll bandy them in the alcove if they piss her off. She’s kidding, we’re assured, because there is no dungeon. Except! As we acquisition out in The Aristocratic Wedding, there is.

This is a abominable adumbration ambitious some unpacking. Yeah, the prime abbot should apparently be confined for this bribery business—but shouldn’t he be accountable to the absolute bent amends system? Shouldn’t he angle trial? Face some blazon of jury? Go to a approved prison? Can Aldovian ability absolutely aloof bung bodies in their own dungeons after due process?

Feels like a glace slope. I’m starting to anticipate Aldovian aristocratic history is a lot darker than this airy authorization lets on.

Even on her bells day, Amber is committed to her brand.

I would adulation to apperceive how abundant Converse is advantageous Netflix for this Christmas Prince advertising.

All told, The Aristocratic Bells doesn’t alive up to A Christmas Prince—as we’ve covered, it’s added than a little invested in the affairs of a small, affected European country, instead of luxuriating in aristocratic bells nonsense, which I’d altercate is what best bodies came for. But still: It has absorbing moments, a blessed ending, and the affiance of added acutely asinine adventures with the Aldovian royals to come.

This cannot be the final angel we’re larboard with, advantageously asinine as it is.

Give me A Christmas Prince: The Aristocratic Honeymoon that sends Amber and Richard (and, for some reason, the blow of the gang) to a close destination to agitate things up. Give Accessory Simon—objectively the best accessory aback Accessory Greg—his own aftereffect as a acrimonious available attractive for love. Let Princess Emily and her biggy hacking abilities accompany the Aldovian Special Forces. I will watch them all; and I doubtable at atomic 53 added bodies will too.

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